


Run

by kwrites



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Romance, Smut, no vigilantes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 05:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4007230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwrites/pseuds/kwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - It’s been 6 years since Felicity last saw Oliver Queen, her former best friend and boyfriend. She had once thought they would spend their lives together. He made other plans. Now that he’s back, will she ever find out what drove him to leave her and the life they had planned behind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all - welcome to my first foray into multi-chapter, alternative universe Olicity goodness. This first chapter, the prologue, is definitely one of the most angst-heavy chapters of the story. Things will pick up after this one (and smut will enter in intermittently). I'm also going ahead without a beta - so any mistakes or general suck is all on me. Anyways - please let me know what you think at the end and I hope you enjoy it. Lots more to come. xo
> 
> The title of this story is based on "Run" by Snow Patrol.

She knows she shouldn’t have come here.

 

Well, honestly, she hadn’t had a choice. But either way, she knew it wasn’t the right one.

 

She had woken up this morning to the sound of heavy rain pelting the roof above her. It should have been calming, but ever since they had gotten the news three days ago, her mind had been spinning a mile a minute. Everything had her on edge.

 

Sleep hadn’t been coming easy to her. She spent her waking moments wondering if this would be the thing that would finally bring him back to Starling city. She spent the few hours of restless sleep that she was able to grasp each night, dreaming of the past - of him.

 

It was a free, high-definition screening of a movie she had never asked to see. It was too much and never enough.

 

Robert Queen’s sudden heart attack and passing had left the Starling business community in shock. He was still young, still at the top of his game. There was no rhyme or reason to it. 

 

She figures that’s just how life works. She knows this better than most.

 

Aside from the fact that she had basically grown up inside the walls of the Queen mansion, she had never fully clicked with Robert Queen the way she had with the rest of the family. Their interactions had always been perfectly polite, nice even. But she had always seen the shrewd businessman before the man who loved his family. She thinks he knew that. Knows he did.

 

Despite all of that, she knew there was no escape from being in attendance of the funeral and reception. Thea and Moira were still family to her, even after everything that had happened. 

 

Thea herself had been the one to deliver the news. Listening to the girl crying on the phone had sent Felicity’s heart plummeting. Selfishly, she knew it was half due to her friend’s pain, and half due to the repercussions she knew this event would bring to her life.

 

Putting aside her feelings, she had stayed by Thea’s side for the next few days, helping her grieve and putting things together for the funeral. Her and Tommy had self-appointed themselves her keeper during the tough days they knew were ahead.

 

It was yesterday that she heard the name, his name, mixed into funeral conversations for the first time. It had been a shock, although she hadn’t really known why. Of course he would come up, be involved – it was his father that had just passed away, after all.

 

Sure, everyone had tiptoed around his name for years, always avoided bringing him up when she was around. She appreciated it. She knew it was stupid. Knew that she should be over it, over him.

 

Sometimes things were easier said than done.

 

It was then that she realized, indefinitely, that she would be unable to avoid more than just his name for much longer. Of course he would return for his father’s funeral. She had dubbed him the king of avoidance, of emotional apathy. But this was one thing she knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid. 

 

Her heart had jump-started at the thought of seeing him once again. That excitement had lifted her up for about thirty seconds before the reality of the situation slammed her back down to earth.

 

She hadn’t seen Oliver Queen in six years. Six years since he had turned his back on her and the life they had planned together.

 

It had taken her a long time to get where she was now. To a place where she could say she was happy again, give or take. But she had moved on and grown stronger. Felicity Smoak didn’t need a man to know her life was on track. 

 

She had been fortunate enough to gain an amazing education from MIT and subsequently, a successful job in her field of choice at Merlyn Global. Not too shabby at all.

 

She had friends who supported her, lifted her up and kept her going. She loved each of them, loved her Mom – even as eccentric as she was. No one knew that some days she still struggled with the empty space in her heart that he had left behind. It was a shameful secret that she kept close to her. She couldn’t admit that she still let him keep a grip on her heart and thoughts even after all these years.

 

How could she let this go, though? Find closure without knowing what had happened to make him stop loving her? Mysteries bothered her. She needed to solve them. Oliver Queen was the most frustrating mystery of them all. 

 

Growing up in the Queen mansion, she had once known everything there was to know about him. From the rambunctious and enthusiastic boy she had met when she was ten, to the teenage Casanova and party boy, and eventually the man she had grown to truly love with all of her heart. She was there for all of it.

 

Which was why their sudden break-up had devastated her. Blindsided her on a random week in November.

 

She would never forget that day, or the days leading up to it. She had the script memorized – had agonized over it for months. Trying to figure out where the thread had unraveled.

 

On Sunday, they had woken up tangled in each other. As usual, Oliver had leaned over to kiss her on the forehead before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. It had become their morning ritual when waking up together.

 

They had made love, lazy and slow in the sunlight that beat upon her white sheets. It was the last truly happy day she could remember them having together. He had slipped out after breakfast, with a kiss and a promise to call her later that afternoon. He hadn’t.

 

On Monday, he called in the morning to apologize. Told her he had lost track of time in the library. He would be there all day again. She was a little caught off guard – the library never having been a typical haunt of his. But finals were around the corner, and if anything, she was happy that he was finally showing an interest in his grades.

 

On Tuesday, they didn’t speak. She missed him but told herself it was good he was taking this so seriously. She herself had papers and exams approaching.

 

On Wednesday, she had officially been worried. In the morning, she found herself aching for his touch, for his soft smile that warmed her from the inside out. She called him but it was sent straight to voicemail. She remembers frowning, the webs of doubt slowly spreading inside her and wrapping around her heart. She remembers sending him a text, telling him she missed him and could they get dinner? No response.

 

On Thursday, he showed up at the door of her apartment. She had swung the door open, her heart light at the sight of him. Reaching up, she had curved her hands around his neck, pressed her lips to his. It was after a few seconds that she realized he was not responding. Pulling back, she saw a flash of pain in his eyes before the mask had shuttered down over it. Closing him off from her.

 

He stood in the foyer, not bothering to fully enter her apartment as he broke up with her, tore her world down, and left it at her feet.

 

_ I thought this was working, but it’s just, not anymore, Felicity. I care about you, but I’m just not in love with you anymore.  _

 

The words had seemed ludicrous at the time. Just four days prior they had been blissfully happy - sharing dreams about what they would do together once they completed college. Now he was throwing away the past two years of their life like it meant nothing – like  _ she  _ meant nothing.

 

She had stayed in her apartment all weekend, racking her brain and trying to figure out what had happened, why he would do this to them. She knew he loved her. Despite what he had said, there was no way he couldn’t. _ Right? _

By the following Monday, she was determined. Determined to confront him and figure out why he thought this was right. How could anything that didn’t involve them being together be the right thing?

 

Showing up at his apartment, she had knocked at his door for what felt like an eternity. Not receiving an answer, she had tried the doorknob. Unlocked. She remembers thinking how unusual that was. Walking in, she was met with a sterile apartment. Empty. Everything had been cleared out. He was gone.

 

She had been frantic. Did he move apartments just so she wouldn’t know where to find him? Had he gone back to Starling? Was he in some kind of trouble?

 

A phone call to Tommy had clued her in. He hadn’t known all of the details, but enough to softly deliver the blow of Oliver’s sudden transfer to Northwestern in Chicago. 

 

That was it. Within a week, he had emptied his life of her and his life in Boston and left them behind without a goodbye.

 

* * *

 

 

Thea’s hand gripping her own brought her out of the painful memories. The funeral progression was beginning, and she knew her friend was going to need her through this. Shaking her head clear of the past, she closed her own hand around Thea’s, vowing not to let those memories tear her back down again.

 

It was a few minutes in, when she felt him. Felt his gaze upon her, burning through her.

 

She would never be able to forget it.

 

Her breath caught, and she closed her eyes, summoning the strength to get through this. Opening them, she turned her head to the left and her eyes locked with his for the first time in six years.

 

He had taken his seat two seats to her left, next to his mother. It made sense. She should have prepared for this. But really, nothing could have prepared her for the rush of feelings overwhelming her at the sight of him.

 

It was chilling, almost. Like seeing a ghost. His piercing blue eyes were blank, the same mask she had seen on his face the last time she had seen him was still intact. He was a stranger that she knew well.

 

He didn’t take his eyes off of her until his mother’s head leant down to his shoulder, and then his eyes slipped down as he leant in to speak to her, the mask vanishing.

 

His hand was brushing through his mother’s hair, as he pressed a soft kiss against the side of her head, whispering comfort to her. Felicity’s breath caught at the sight. This was her Oliver. The man she had once knew. Family had always been one of the most important things to him. It was nice to know that he could still show that, even though he couldn’t be bothered to come home once in the past six years.

 

After his transfer, the Queen family had always travelled to Chicago to see him. Not a single holiday was spent in Starling. It had been like losing her own family – she had always spent the holidays with them, after all.

 

She knew it was his own doing, him refusing to come to Starling. Knew it was probably to avoid seeing her. That stung, even as she had told herself over the years that it was for the best. 

 

She was right - because seeing him now? After six years? Still crushing.

 

Steeling herself, she turned her gaze back to the front, refusing to turn her head towards him again. As the funeral continued on, Felicity could feel his gaze land on her multiple times throughout the ceremony. She never looked back. Couldn’t allow herself to move.

Her heart was heavy, sitting at the bottom of her stomach and it felt hard to breathe. Despite the fact that they were outside, it felt like walls were closing in on her. 

 

She wanted to leave, desperately. There was a bottle of red wine at home with her name written across it. Was that a healthy coping habit? Probably not, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to think anymore.

 

As soon as the ceremony had come to a close, she had moved to stand, turned to tell Thea she was leaving. There was no possible way she could make it through this and a reception at the mansion. Being back in that house, with him – it would suffocate her, surely.

 

The tear tracks down the beautiful, young girl’s face stopped her in her tracks.

 

“Felicity? Darling? Would you like to ride with us back to the house for the reception?” Moira was looking at her expectantly and she knew there was no way she could talk her way out of this one. 

 

Looking up, she met Oliver’s dark gaze. There was a mix of emotions present in his eyes and a familiar feeling tugged in her chest. She tried to discern one emotion but the ever-present mask had slipped back down as soon as she met his gaze. She shook her head. 

 

There must have been a reason for it. Maybe he was hoping she would scare off, leaving him to his family in peace.

 

Forcing a small, pained smile, she nodded agreeably to Moira’s suggestion and prepared herself. Hopefully, she would be able to show her face, make with the polite small talk, and then make a quick escape. She wasn’t sure how much more she would be able to handle.

* * *

 

 

As it turned out, all of Felicity’s hoping had been for naught. When she had agreed to ride with them back to the house, she had assumed Oliver would not be a part of that equation. He had arrived much later than the rest of the family, after all.

 

She had assumed wrong.

 

Walking through the crowd to the black town car, it was then Felicity truly realized the predicament she had gotten herself into. With Moira taking the front seat next to their driver, it left the backseat for her, Thea and Oliver.

 

Staring at the car door, she tried to wish herself out and away from here. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t feel Oliver move up behind her until he spoke.

 

“Let me get the door for you, Felicity,” his breath was warm against her neck and she could feel his body heat as he stretched his arm around her to open the door.

 

She felt a bubble of bitter laughter rise up her throat, begging to be let out. This was the first time she had heard his voice (well, his voicemail aside – but that was an entire story in itself) – the first words he had spoken to her in  _ six years. _ And they were about a car door. It was almost maddening.

 

But she bit her tongue, silently moving into the car and closing the door firmly behind her. Thea slid in the middle from the other side, pulling Felicity’s hand back into her own and resting her head against her shoulder.

 

Felicity allowed a small smile to stretch her face, tightening her grip on her hand. Sitting there, the minutes continued to pass, the car door still wide open - waiting for Oliver. Looking in the rear view mirror, she spotted him next to the car, speaking to Tommy.

 

She wanted to be angry at Tommy – his bright smile and infectious laughter clearly giving away his happiness at having Oliver back. Traitor, she thought. But she wasn’t really mad.

 

She knew that as much as Tommy was there for her, he had always stayed in contact with his best friend. They had their own bond that Felicity could never begrudge him of. She had loved Oliver that much once too. She knew how it felt to have his attention focused on you.

 

Lost in her musing, she startled when the car door slammed shut, Oliver firmly enclosed in the vehicle. She could smell his cologne crowding the car. It was different than what he had worn in college.

 

But then, everything was different now. 

 

Her eyes moved over to him, betraying her. He was smiling softly down at Thea, his eyebrows furrowing slightly when he caught sight of their hands clasped together. She took the time to really look at him. 

 

He had aged, of course, but god he was as handsome as ever. More handsome than he had been back when they were together, if that was even possible.

 

Back in college, he had worn his hair slightly longer, pushed off to the side in an ever-so-preppy style that she had constantly made fun of him for. His smooth face was more angular, his jaw covered in two-day stubble. It wasn’t fair, Felicity protested. Even exhausted, he was more attractive than any man she had ever met. She took in his suit, which stretched across his broad shoulders perfectly. No matter how upset or angry she was with him, Oliver really was beautiful.

 

His gaze moved back up to her suddenly, catching her in the act of her perusal. She blushed slightly, but didn’t move her eyes from his. Couldn’t, really.

 

_ God. Had the A/C been shut off? Why was it suddenly so hot in here? _ Her mind was running a mile a minute as she tried to distract herself from the tension that had settled like a warm blanket over them.

 

Oliver’s eyes were measuring her, and she could see a soft smile light his face before his eyes fluttered, and filled with what she could only describe as… pain?

 

_ Of course, she thought to herself, being this close to me must be torture for him. After all that time he had away from me. I can only imagine how much he hates this _ . 

 

Her thoughts were heavy on her heart, and she turned away from him, setting her eyes on the car window, staring at the passing landscapes, but not really seeing anything at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Once they had arrived back at the mansion, Felicity had blown out of the car like hell had been chasing her. Heading straight to the bathroom, she had locked herself inside for a quick pep talk. She could get through this. She was Felicity Smoak.

 

Splashing some water on her face, and taking a few calming breaths, she steeled herself for the rest of the afternoon. She needed a glass of wine, like, yesterday.

 

Twisting the door handle, she opened the door and walked straight into Oliver.  _ Of course. Because why wouldn’t this happen to me? It would ONLY happen to me. Wait, had he been waiting for her? _

 

His hands fell upon her shoulders, steadying her in place. She could feel the energy between them, almost humming to life at their first physical connection in half of a decade.

 

It felt wonderful.

 

It was hell.

 

She stepped back quickly, missing the hurt look on his face as she attempted to put a comfortable amount of distance between them. Opening her mouth, she spoke to him directly for the first time all day.

 

“Oh! I’m sorry. I really should watch where I’m going, I really thought I had gotten better at that but you know me,” but the words died suddenly on her lips, her stomach twisting.

 

Because he didn’t know her, not anymore. And why was she still standing here?

 

“I’m sorry, I’m just gonna… go,” she said, her thumb pointing behind her.

 

“Felicity,” Oliver breathed out. 

 

She stopped in place, turning to look up at him briefly. Her name falling from his lips sounded like a prayer, and she didn't believe in those. 

 

Not anymore.

 

Shaking her said, she managed to squeak out an “I can’t”, the words almost getting stuck in her throat as she turned around and hurried away into the crowd.

 

Floating throughout the room, a beautiful, heavenly glass of wine in hand, she managed to avoid Oliver for the rest of the afternoon. It wasn’t without effort.

 

His eyes seemed to follow her wherever she went. 

 

She had been talking to Walter Steele, a trusted confident of Robert’s that had been around for as long as she could remember, the first time he tried to join her. She had excused herself politely at the last second.

 

The next time her eyes found his, she had been locked in conversation with Laurel Lance, one of her good friends and Tommy’s longtime girlfriend. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t let her be. He had avoided her successfully for years.

 

It continued on like this as she moved from group to group, settling in with Thea and Moira, before moving on to colleagues from Merlyn Global. Everywhere she went, she could feel him. 

 

Being in this house, it was worse. The rooms were coated with memories, with their memories of growing up together. To be back here with him, like this, was agonizing.

 

Things had never quite felt real here without him, she thought. The only memories of him in this house were happy ones. Childhood stories and adventures, high school debauchery (on Oliver’s side, anyways) and days spent studying in their library.

 

No – that sadness had never coated the mansion. Until now.

 

After about an hour, Felicity was drained. Physically and emotionally drained. She figured she had spent enough time here to bow out gracefully and make her way home. Calling a cab, she had about fifteen minutes to say her goodbyes before it would whisk her away from the exhaustion of today’s events. She made sure to make the rounds quickly, not allowing anyone to pull her back into a longer conversation and delay her exit.

 

Stepping outside, Felicity felt herself breathe for the first time all day. She let the chill in the air settle around her. The cold always made her feel fresher, more alive, somehow. 

 

She had a few more minutes before the cab was expected to arrive, so she pulled out her phone, leaning against one of the cement pillars. She smiled as she scrolled through her missed texts, Iris’ text from earlier that morning - “You got this girl – stay Smoak strong!”, caused her to laugh out loud in appreciation. 

 

“It’s nice to know that you can still smile,” Oliver said, scaring the ever-loving crap out of her.

 

“Oh my god! Where did you even come from? Can’t you make some noise instead of just sneaking up on people?” Her hand was pressed to her chest as she breathed through her elevated heartbeat.

 

Looking over, she found him sitting against one of the steps off to the side, knees bent and arms slung over them. He looked as exhausted as she felt. His tie had been loosened and his hair was a mess, like he had been running his fingers through it stressfully.

 

Pulling her gaze from him, once again, her mind went over his words and let out a bitter laugh. 

 

“Of course I can still laugh. There have been some days where it seemed impossible, sure. But life goes on. People move on.”  _ I moved on, just like you did _ , is what she really wanted to say.

 

She didn’t trust herself to make it through that sentence believably. But she didn’t have to, apparently. He got the message. He smiled self-deprecatingly, his head dipping down in acknowledgement of the things she hadn’t said.

 

She allowed herself to feel a second of accomplishment, hoping she had hurt him just an ounce of the way he had hurt her. It wasn’t likely. But then, really, she just felt worse. They didn’t need any more pain between them, any more sad stories. They had quite enough, if you asked her. They remained in silence for a minute before he spoke again.

 

“Felicity, about back then,” Oliver started. She couldn’t hear this though. She wasn’t ready. He had only been back in town a day - hours, really. Why did he think he had the right?

 

“Oliver, just - _ stop _ . Please, stop. Stop following me around, stop watching me everywhere I go. Stop making me feel like we’re okay to just talk, like the past six years haven’t passed by without a word. Just stop. Everything. I can’t do this with you. Here. Right now. It’s too much.” The words fell out of her, jumbled. She wasn’t even sure they made sense, at this point. And where the frack was her cab?

 

“I’m sorry, Felicity. You don’t know how sorry I am, you never will. But I need to talk to you; we need to talk about this. I have to explain....,” but she stretched her hand out, shaking her head quickly and stopping the words that were spilling out of his mouth.

 

She could feel the tears rising in her eyes and she inhaled, fighting to find her calm. She wouldn’t let herself cry in front of him. She could see the cab slowly making its way up the long drive way and sighed in relief.

 

Turning back to him, she took in the slumped shoulders, the pain in his eyes – it was almost too much for her to bear. She wanted to be unaffected, wanted to be happy that he was hurting like she was. She tried. She failed.

 

She shook her head sadly, walking down the last few steps to her cab and opening the door. She allowed herself one last glance over her shoulder. Holding his eye for a second, before turning around and getting into the car, closing the door shut on him. 

 

She managed to give her address to the driver before the tears started, silently tracking down her face as she allowed herself to truly feel his absence for the first time in years.

 

She was so screwed.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who left kind words and enthusiasm for this story. I can't explain how much it meant to me and how much more enthusiasm I have towards the story because of it. The next few chapters will be flashback chapters, introducing you to how they fell in love and the real back story behind them. I know everyone is anxious to see how the present day story continues, but I hope you enjoy the build-up xoxo.

She was ten years old when she first met Oliver Queen.

 

Surprisingly, she had Tommy Merlyn to thank for that. But first, it was important to understand how she had even become a part of their world.

 

When her suspicious and otherwise no-good, terrible father took off shortly after she was born, he had left her mother with a sizable amount of money. As if that could make up for his absence in their lives.

 

For a long time, her mother had adamantly refused to touch the money. Eventually placing it in a trust, she had decided quickly that the only good use of the money could be towards her daughter’s education.

 

Once Felicity had reached grade school, it became obvious that she was ahead of the other children in her class. Really ahead. And as much as she wished it, Starling’s public schools just simply did not have the resources for the advanced classes that someone like Felicity could truly benefit from.

 

Quickly thereafter, the money had found its’ use and Felicity found herself thrown to the wolves.  _ Private school _ .

 

To say her transition into her new school had been rough was putting it well… lightly. The Starling elite were a completely new class of people unlike anything she had ever known. And they had all known each other since, well, forever.

 

The girls had grown up around debutante balls, dragged to their mother’s elitist charity events and tea parties; they were being groomed for those same events. The boys, while a little more unruly and a little closer to the typical gangly kid, had still grown up around money. Money changed people, morphed them into something a little harsher and a little more proud.

 

So, on top of being the new girl  _ (which brought enough attention to her on its own) _ , she had also quickly been identified as middle-class. That was bad enough. But once the word had caught on that she had transferred due to her scholastic aptitude, it had been the final kick in the head. 

 

She had officially become Starling Prep’s resident geek and all-around social pariah.

 

The girls mocked her endlessly for her glasses and clothes – they weren’t designer, after all. The torture followed her into the classroom as well. One thing Felicity refused to let it affect was her grades. They were important to her and it showed in the classroom. She quickly became a teacher favorite and that should have been something she could take delight in. But it quickly became evident that it was just another thing she would be made fun of for.

 

After a couple of months, it seemed like Felicity couldn’t win no matter what she did. So she stopped trying altogether. She let the whispers continue behind her back, let the comments bounce off of her. She enjoyed learning and she hid behind her books, blocking out the mean-spirited girls and immature boys, refusing to let them ruin this opportunity for her.

 

It all changed the day she met Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen.

 

* * *

 

**_16 years prior - Age 10_ **

 

_ Felicity tightened the straps of her backpack as she walked down the corridor, keeping her head down. She found the teasing to be less when she avoided making eye contact with anyone. It provided less ammunition. _

 

_ The quicker she got to class, the quicker the day would be over and she could go home, where no one would bother her. Her mom had recently surprised her with her first computer, something that had come months after saving any extra money she could. It was Felicity’s most prized possession. _

 

_ She had fallen in love with the machine immediately. It did exactly what you asked of it, no argument. No opinions on the user behind the screen. Unsurprisingly, she had learned everything about it within a week. It still hadn’t taken the joy out of it. _

 

_ Lost in her daydream, she startled when Carter Bowen’s shoulder slammed into her. Caught off guard, she lost her footing and couldn’t prevent the fall, her glasses flying off and skidding across the marble floor. _

 

_ “Watch it, nerd!” Carter laughed, his posse of friends snickering at his actions. Morons, she thought. _

 

_ She felt the tears surface in her eyes as her hand sought out her lost glasses, the embarrassment weighing down heavily on her shoulders. Her hands clutched onto her glasses and she sighed in relief, slipping them on. _

 

_ It was then that she heard the voice of Tommy Merlyn. _

 

_ “Hey! C’mon, she’s just a girl. What’s your problem Bowen?” _

 

_ Startled, she looked up to see a small crowd forming around her and the boys. No one had ever stood up for her before. She sat on the floor, mouth open wide as she took it all in. _

 

_ Before Carter could respond, a second boy pushed his way into the crowd. She recognized him as Oliver Queen, Starling Prep’s golden boy. She had never actually spoken to him, but he had never been cruel to her in the past and she blushed looking him over.  _

 

_ Oliver walked up, taking his place next to Tommy. She realized she had never seen one of them without the other. Did those two ever do anything without one another? _

 

_ “What’s going on here, Tommy?” Oliver said, puffing his chest in a way that would have been comical for a boy his age if Felicity hadn’t been so embarrassed by the attention being brought upon her. _

 

_ “Bowen pushed this girl down to the ground. I’m telling him to get lost,” Tommy added, his arms crossed over his chest, nodding towards her. She couldn’t help the small smile that escaped her as she looked over these two boys, standing up for her when they didn’t even know her. _

 

_ Oliver looked down at her, seemingly seeing her there for the first time. It didn’t surprise her, she was used to being overlooked. Sparing her a glance before looking back up, Oliver nodded towards Carter.  _

 

_ “You heard Tommy. Get out of here, Carter. You’re not wanted here. Anywhere, really.” _

 

_ Carter shook his head, clearly seeing he was out numbered. He muttered a sulky “Whatever”, before turning around and trudging down the hall, his gang of self-important jerks following behind him. Couldn’t any of them think for themselves? It was tragic, truly. _

 

_ A hand in front of her face brought her back to the situation at hand, and she looked up to see it was Oliver offering her the help. Staring at him with wide eyes, she blinked a few times before reaching out to take his hand, letting herself be pulled up to her feet. _

 

_ “Don’t let him get to you. Carter’s a world-class idiot. It’s amazing he can dress himself in the morning without his mommy’s help,” he rolled his eyes, dragging a small laugh out of her. “I’m Oliver Queen.” _

 

_ “Felicity. Smoak.” _

 

* * *

 

She never could have anticipated the direction her life would take after that one meeting. At just ten years old, she simply couldn’t grasp the enormity of the situation.

 

Oliver and Tommy had taken her under their wing immediately, keeping her close and involving her in social activities that she had previously been shunned from. They were two of the most popular kids in school and as silly as it sounded, no one dared to cross them. And those who did? Well, they typically regretted it. What could she say? The rich were venomous.

 

Growing up an only child with a single mom, Felicity had never had the opportunity to be surrounded by family. But Oliver and Tommy became the closest thing to it. Brothers almost. 

 

Not long after, Felicity soon became a fixture in the Queen mansion. Moira Queen seemed thrilled to have another girl in the house, and Thea – well, Thea fell in love with Felicity in a blink of an eye.

 

* * *

 

_ She was nervous. _

 

_ It had been a while since Felicity had been invited to a friend’s house. After leaving her previous school, she had lost the ability to stay in touch with the girls she had once called friends. Their schools began and ended at different times, and to be honest, the circumstances of her new life had caused her to retreat into her shell. Computers had become her new best friend. _

 

_ But ever since Oliver and Tommy had stood up for her a week ago, she hadn’t been able to shake the two boys. _

 

_ They had taken to her immediately, but for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why. She was just Felicity Smoak - plain, computer nerd, ripe to be picked on. But they didn’t see her that way. _

 

_ Oliver especially had glued himself to her side and she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like it. _

 

_ After everything she had been through, she had made the mistake of putting every person in Starling Prep into a category. A category of awfully mean and stuck-up kids whose life missions had become torturing Felicity Smoak. Oliver seemed bent on changing her point of view, even if it was unknowingly. _

 

_ Pulling her up off the floor that day, he had formally introduced her to Tommy before escorting her to class. After class, they managed to pull from her the truth about her life at school pretty quickly. She had become so accustomed to the bullying; it barely fazed her at this point. _

 

_ They didn’t see it that way. _

 

_ Ever since, she knew she could count on both boys being ready to greet her before and after class. At lunch, they found her immediately, bringing her to their table and making her a staple at it. There were whispers and curious glances, but no one dared to question them. _

 

_ Who knew two 10-year-old boys could be such gentlemen? _

 

_ She surely hadn’t. _

 

_ At recess, they dragged her along on their adventures, coming up with fantasies and missions that needed to be completed. She often became the trusty sidekick of their spy organization or the princess that needed rescuing from the evil kingdom. It was a departure from her typical lunchtime activities of reading under the shaded willow tree off to the side of the playground. Felicity loved it. She could feel the ice thawing from her veins, the warmth of having friends once again brightening her days at school. She began excelling at a pace even her most trusted teachers hadn’t anticipated. _

 

_ But yesterday, Oliver had invited her back to his house after school to play with him and Tommy for the first time. For some reason, she was inexplicably nervous. Her mom had been more than willing to pick her up afterward; so happy her daughter was finally making friends at her new school. She cringed remembering her mom’s reaction when she had asked last night. “Freak out” didn’t even cover it – Donna Smoak’s enthusiasm could put anyone to shame. _

 

_ Oliver’s shoulder nudging her own brought her back to the present time. _

 

_ He was grinning over at her, stuffing the contents of a bag of Cool Ranch Dorito’s into his mouth. If it had been anyone else, she would have been sufficiently disgusted. But it was Oliver – and if the last week had taught Felicity anything, it was that Oliver could do almost anything and it would bring a smile to her face. _

 

_ “What are you thinkin’ bout Felicity? Are you excited to come over to my house? Tommy and I usually run around outside for a while or shoot hoops and then Raisa brings us snacks. The real unhealthy, good ones. Mom doesn’t know though, so make sure you don’t say anything. It’s hard enough trying to hide it from Thea,” Oliver said through the chips in his mouth. _

 

_ She shook her head in amusement before it hit her. _

 

_ “Who’s Thea?” _

 

_ Oliver looked confused for a second before answering her. “My sister. Did I not tell you that before? Oh, well. She’s younger, she’s only 5,” he was rolling his eyes, but she could see the warmth within them, “She’s always running around the house yelling. She chases after me and Tommy all the time. We never get a break, but I can’t blame her. We are pretty cool,” he finished speaking with a silly grin on his face. _

 

_ She laughed, her eyes crinkling in amusement. She was laughing a lot more these days because of these two. _

 

_ Walking into the house, she had immediately figured out what he had been talking about. _

 

_ A small blur of brown hair and a red dress had come barreling towards the door the minute it had opened. _

 

_ She was young, but there was no mistaking the grin on her face as she greeted her brother with an enthusiastic “Ollie!” before colliding into him like he hung the moon and stars for her. _

 

_ She could tell Oliver loved it, but he hugged her briefly before pushing her off of him. He turned to Felicity, introducing the two of them. _

 

_ She smiled at the little girl, dressed like a princess and clearly happy to see her brother. “Hi Thea, I’m Felicity. I love your dress!” _

 

The answering smile that had lit up her face had only been the beginning

.

* * *

 

Despite everything that had happened, thinking back on those days still brought an uncontrollable grin to her face. These two silly boys had rescued her from an adolescence of loneliness and who knows what else.

 

At the time, they hadn’t even realized what they had done for her. She remembers a late night conversation between Oliver and herself years later, confessing to him how much their friendship at that time had meant to her.

 

He had known it must have been a reprieve from the life she had been living, the constant bullying and exclusion from school activities was hard to ignore. But at ten years old and even up to their conversation at age fifteen, he hadn’t comprehended what it had done for her.

 

It didn’t surprise her; he had just been a teenage boy after all.

 

* * *

 

**_11 years prior - Age 15_ **

 

_ Clutching the phone to her ear, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes as her best friend rattled on about the girl he currently had a crush on. Oliver Queen had more crushes than the cheerleading team had chants on a good day. _

 

_ They never lasted, but boy was he enthusiastic about each and every one of them. For the whole two weeks they endured. _

 

_ He and Tommy had single handedly gone through half of their school’s female population by their freshman year. They were heading into sophomore year and she was unsure what they would do by senior year – there clearly would not be a single girl left for their attentions. _

 

_ “I don’t know what it is about her, ‘licity. She’s something special, you know. Have you ever just met someone that turns your entire world on its’ end?” _

 

_ The words were out before she could stop herself. “Sure, Oliver. You and Tommy, obviously.” _

 

_ There was a pregnant pause over the line as Oliver seemingly took in her answer, clearly not expecting her to have an answer for him at all. _

 

_ “What do you mean?” he said. _

 

_ “What do you mean, what do I mean? Meeting you and Tommy completely changed my life, Oliver. I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am today if it hadn’t been for you two stupid boys sticking up for me that day in the hallway.” _

 

_ He paused again, before speaking up, his voice light and clearly disbelieving. “C’mon Felicity. That was nothing, we were just kids. You know how much we both hated Carter. Still hate Carter. God, that guy is a dick. Did you know my mom spent an hour the other day telling my dad all about his accomplishments at school? Like anyone didn’t already know about his stuck-up ass.” _

 

_ She laughed, unable to help herself. She had hated Carter Bowen ever since that day, before then, really. And even though she had grown up, matured - she had never let go of her burning hatred for him. Just the thought of him made her want to scream into her pillow. But she was getting sidetracked, as she so often did when in Oliver’s presence. _

 

_ “No, really Oliver,” she protested, “Maybe I’ve never really told either of you this, but I can’t thank you enough for what you both did for me back then. I know we were young and you probably had no idea, but back before then, I spent all of my days alone. Lunch? Alone. Recess? Alone. Playing with friends after school? It didn’t happen for a long time until I met you guys.” _

 

_ “Felicity,” Oliver breathed. “I really had no idea. We just saw a pretty girl being picked on and stood up for you.” _

 

_ “I know, Oliver, I know. That’s why it’s so special to me. You had no reason to help out the girl searching for her glasses and trying not to cry, but you both stepped in simply because you thought it was right. You changed my life that day and I will never be able to thank you enough.” _

 

_ Her face was burning with her admission. She knows Oliver or Tommy couldn’t have known how much that meant to her. Ever since that day, they had become close friends and with the years that passed – it had just seemed like the three of them had known each other forever. There had never been a reason to discuss that day before. She couldn’t admit that she wasn’t glad to finally tell him. _

 

_ “So, yeah. I’ve met a couple of people that changed my life and turned it upside down,” she added after Oliver still hadn’t responded. _

 

_ After a beat, Oliver answered. “You know what? I think you changed my life that day too, Felicity. And standing up for you? The best idea Tommy and I ever had.” _

 

_ Felicity couldn’t contain the wide grin that stretched across her face, the warmth that washed over her with his words. She knows it’s stupid but it only made her memory of that day even better. _

 

_ Oh and Oliver and the girl who turned his world on its’ end? _

 

_ They broke up the next week. _

 

* * *

 

Felicity wants to say that everything between her and Oliver changed after that telephone call. But she can’t. It became a silently acknowledged truth between the two of them, never to be spoken of again.

 

Oliver continued to date his way throughout the school, and she continued to be content with the friendship between the two of them. She hadn’t really considered anything else between them until a couple of years later, during their senior year.

 

However, their friendship had continued to grow stronger and stronger. They became incredibly close with one another, both emotionally and physically. It got to the point that the rumor mill in school had decided the two of them were dating, despite their frequent protests against any such thing.

 

During her sophomore year, her mom had begun picking up additional late night shifts at the restaurant, finally feeling as though Felicity were old enough to be on her own more often.

 

As a result, she found herself spending the night at the Queen mansion pretty frequently. Long days at school turned into days spent studying and helping Oliver with his homework after school. Those days turned into dinners with the rest of his family and then sleepovers on the nights her mom worked late.

 

Although she had eventually commandeered one of their guest rooms as her own, many nights before and after had ended with her and Oliver falling asleep next to one another.

 

* * *

 

**_10 years prior - Age 16_ **

 

_ Felicity stirred, a yawn breaking out as she wondered why she felt so heavy and warm. It took her a moment to gain her wits, but once she did, she found her answer. Oliver’s head was burrowed into her shoulder, an arm loosely slung across her waist. She smiled to herself even as she tried to remember why he was there and where ‘there’ was. _

 

_ Looking around the Queen entertainment room, she remembered forcing Oliver to watch Pretty in Pink after a lengthy argument. He had finally conceded to her wishes once she had reminded him why he had been able to pass his Algebra test that week. _

 

_ We must have fallen asleep during it. Crap, did I tell mom I was staying over here tonight? She couldn’t remember but was momentarily distracted by Oliver moving against her in her sleep. She held still, holding her breath as he shifted onto his side, pulling her in closer to his body. _

 

_ Smiling to herself, she let her mind turn off as she drifted off to sleep. _

 

_ She could worry about her mom in the morning. _

 

* * *

 

Although that had been the first time she had woken up tangled in Oliver Queen, it certainly hadn’t been the last.

 

Movies and sleepovers had become a ritual of theirs for months, the Queen mansion becoming more than her second home. Sometimes she thought she spent more time there than at her own house.

 

Felicity was sure her mom would have had a coronary if she had seen her daughter’s sleeping arrangements on the nights she wasn’t around. She was surprised Oliver’s parents had let them continue on as long as they had.

 

But surprisingly, it wasn’t Oliver’s parents who eventually had brought an end to their sleeping patterns.

 

* * *

 

**_9 years prior - Age 17_ **

 

_ A groan woke Felicity up from her sleep, but it was the warm hand that was sliding it’s way suspiciously higher and higher up her stomach that forced her eyes open and kept her awake. _

 

_ She breathed in deeply, feeling Oliver behind her. They were impossibly close to each other, to the point where Felicity couldn’t quite put a finger on where she began and Oliver ended. _

 

_ Taking stock of the situation, she could feel Oliver’s legs tangled in with her own. Moving up, she gasped deeply, a blush stealing over her face as she felt him - a certain part of him - against her lower back. His hand was still moving, running up close to the side of her boobs and oh my god, Oliver. _

 

_ She was just preparing to move off of him, shove him off of her, really, when his hand brushed over a nipple. She gasped, her hips moving back into him without her permission. She felt his body respond to her and a quiet moan left his lips. But then his body stilled just as suddenly, and she knew he had woken up and realized where he was – and whom he was with. _

 

_ “Felicity?” His voice was rough with sleep and confusion, and she closed her eyes tight in embarrassment of the situation they had found themselves in. How could she find pleasure in what was going on right now? He was asleep for christ’s sake. _

 

_ “Uh, yeah. Hi, Oliver.”  _

 

_ She craned her head to look him in the eye, finding his heavy with… lust? She swore that was what she could see in his blue depths, but then again, she wasn’t very well versed in the subject. _

 

_ She only had enough time to blink when her senses were filled with boy, with Oliver. He had cupped her neck, bringing her in and planting his lips upon hers. _

 

_ Felicity froze, her mind in shock, but Oliver was persistent. He drew away quickly before returning to her mouth, his lips moving against her’s with more weight, more insistency, and she couldn’t help the gasp that left her. _

 

_ He quickly took advantage of her open mouth, his tongue slipping inside to tangle with her tongue as he maneuvered her onto her back and settled his hips within her open legs. _

 

_ She could feel his erection pressing into her and her hips opened wider automatically, opening herself up to him even though she had never partaken in this dance before. She was moving simply on instinct, following his lead and doing what felt good to her. _

 

_ There was a voice in the back of her mind, but it sounded far away and the buzzing in her ears couldn’t take her away from the heaven that was Oliver Queen devouring her mouth. She felt hormones come alive that she had never experienced outside of the privacy of her room and romance novels. And she loved it. _

 

_ Above her, Oliver was clearly enjoying himself just as much. _

 

_ His hips were pressing into her in a slow rhythm as he took his time learning the crevices of her mouth and the curve of her tongue. She felt his hands running up and down her sides, her breath becoming heavier and heavier the more he dared to explore. His hands had just passed over her ass, groaning her name, when he suddenly stilled. _

 

_ His lip left hers, as he looked down at her in shock, truly realizing where he was and whose hips he was rubbing against. _

 

_ “Oh, god. Felicity. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to – shit.”  _

 

_ He was running his hand through his hair and lifting himself up off of her and she closed her eyes in embarrassment. He was sorry, he hadn’t been thinking – had just acted on instinct. She listened to his excuses and apologies as he moved further away from her and eventually moved off the bed, pressing a kiss to her forehead before stammering a final apology and exiting the living room. _

 

_ That was the last time they slept next to each other for a long time. _

 

_ And it was the first time that Felicity Smoak realized she had more than friendly feelings for her best friend. _


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Wow – I just want to say a big thank you to all of the kind words and reviews that everyone has sent to me on here, as well as on Tumblr and Twitter. It’s truly amazing to see so many people enjoying the story. 
> 
> I also want to say a big thank you to everyone who has stuck with it and continued to be interested in the story throughout the last month and a half. For those who do not follow me on tumblr, long story short: I went on vacation and never came back. No, seriously, I received a promotion at work and moved clear across the country within a month. So, obviously – real life has been pretty hectic. Things have begun settling down and my writing inspiration managed to find its way back to me. 
> 
> So, here is the next chapter. I'm a little rusty and it isn't sitting 100% with me but I wanted to get it out for you guys. I hope you all enjoy, xo.

**_9 years prior - Age 17_ **

 

_ The week following what Felicity had internally dubbed “The Mishap”, was pure torture. _

 

_ There were no awkward conversations or glances. No painful talks about their friendship. Those she could’ve handled. _

 

_ The radio silence from Oliver? That she did not handle that too well. _

 

_ Tommy, bless his heart, was more confused than he had ever been (which wasn’t that unusual). And clearly, Oliver wasn’t telling him anything either. _

 

_ Felicity hadn’t gone this long without talking to Oliver since… well since Oliver had helped her off the ground that day in the hallway. _

 

_ So, yeah, she wasn’t taking the lull in their friendship too well. _

 

_ Worried that Oliver was either A) taking the blame and beating himself up tirelessly over it, or B) thinking that Felicity might want their friendship to turn into something more, she decided she had to be the one to man up and go talk to him about it. _

 

_ Because even though a week ago she had realized she had some rather less-than-friendly thoughts about him (which freaked her out to no end, by the way), she was NOT looking for their friendship to change in any way. At all. Even a little. He was too important for anything to come in and mess that up.  _

 

_ So, it was time for Felicity Smoak to do what she did best. _

 

_ Solve problems. _

* * *

 

 

_ Saturday morning she woke with determination. Okay, maybe she didn’t wake up with it, but after her first coffee fix, she definitely began feeling that way.  _

 

_ She quickly got dressed, throwing on her comfy staples – jeans and a white tee, with a cute pair of flats. Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she gave herself a quick glance in the mirror and with a shrug of approval, she was ready to go. _

 

_ Opening her door, she came face-to-face with a rather comically nervous Oliver, one hand raised and poised to knock.  _

 

_ She blinked up at him, surprised to see him standing in her doorway. _

 

_ “Oh! Hey,” she muttered. She was quiet and still clearly taken back by the sight of him. _

 

_ She studied him in amusement as he attempted to smile at her, but his nerves were so clearly shining through it really just looked like an awkward cringe.  _

 

_ Why was this so awkward? _

 

_ “Hey, Felicity. Um… were you going somewhere? Because I can come back another time or…” _

 

_ Now Felicity was the one cringing. _

 

_ “No! No, I was actually just leaving to show up at your place. But uh, you beat me!” she answered. _

 

_ He seemed a little surprised but relieved, his shoulders loosening a little with the knowledge. _

 

_ “Oh, well. Good. That’s good. Listen, can we talk? Inside, or we can go somewhere else,” he questioned. _

 

_ Opening the door wider, she nodded. “Mom’s already left for the breakfast shift so here is as good a place as any.”  _

 

_ Oliver gave her a small smile, entering and taking the familiar path to her living room. Settling onto the couch, they stared at each other for a beat, before Felicity couldn’t take it anymore. Opening her mouth to begin, Oliver beat her to it. Again. _

 

_ “Listen, Felicity. I’m really sorry. For this week. I wasn’t trying to ignore you-“ At her interrupting snort, he shot her a small glare before ducking his head and smiling bashfully at her, “Okay, yeah, I was ignoring you. I’m sorry, again. I, just. I was confused and worried that our relationship was going to change and I just, I don’t want that, y’know?” _

 

_ She nodded her head in agreement, her eyes steadily focused on her hands which were lying clasped on her lap. _

 

_ “I mean, that night… was fun, sure,” she choked a little but smiled at his resulting blush, before quieting and letting him continue. “But, I think what we have going, our friendship – it’s great. And Felicity, I care about you too much for anything to ruin that. I hope that’s okay.” _

 

_ “Oliver, I agree one hundred percent. I wish that you could’ve just talked to me, though. You would’ve realized that I don’t want anything to change, either. This week really sucked.”  _

 

_ She paused, taking in his look of relief, and not quite ready to let him off the hook that easy. _

 

_ “After all, I wasn’t the one who tried to molest you in my sleep…,” she trailed off, a knowing look on her face. _

 

_ “Felicity, no-! I was half asleep and disoriented, and I wasn’t sure who- I mean, where I was, fuck. I’m screwing this up even more aren’t I?” _

 

_ He was a rambling mess and it was a rare sight for her. This was usually her role in their friendship. _

 

_ “It’s okay, Oliver. If I woke up next to myself, I would have a hard time keeping my hands off of myself, too.” She gave him a cheeky grin, taking pure delight in the way his mouth dropped open.  _

 

_ And that was all it took to set their friendship back on the right track. _

 

* * *

 

 

For months after “The Mishap” and their subsequent talk, everything went pretty much back to normal for them. They barely ever mentioned it again, except for when Felicity felt the need to mess with Oliver and knock him down a peg. 

 

The sleepovers at each other’s houses had definitely dwindled in occurrence, but that was because Oliver had begun dating his way back through the high school again.

 

It was amazing, really – she wasn’t even sure where Oliver was finding these girls. How were there any left?

 

As Oliver had explained it to her one day, as he got older – they got younger.

 

She stopped bringing it up after that one.

 

Felicity herself dated a couple of guys here and there, but nothing ever lasted long enough to be serious. She had come to the startling realization that she and Oliver’s friendship intimidated any guy she tried to date. No matter how many times she explained the nature of their relationship, she could always tell they were suspicious.

 

Sure, Oliver and her spent a lot of time together. They were incredibly close with one another – but that came with the territory of being best friends. Right?

 

Well, they sure didn’t see it that way and typically disappeared after a couple of dates.

 

Felicity never minded too much, none of the boys at school had ever really captured her attention. And anyway, she had Oliver and Tommy for male companionship and that was totally fine by her.

 

Then, one day, Oliver came to her in desperation

* * *

 

 

**_9 years prior - Age 17_ **

 

_ “Felicity, Felicity – you’ve got to help me!” _

 

_ Oliver was out of breath, and with the way he had just ran down the hall at full speed to her, she couldn't say she was surprised. Pulling her into an empty classroom around the corner, he locked the door before turning around to face her. _

 

_ “You were right,” he gasped. The word brought a grin to her face, regardless of the fact that she didn’t know what she was right about this time. The words never failed to make her smile. She was right a lot of the time.  _

 

_ “About what, this time?” she asked. _

 

_ “Carrie is crazy.”  _

 

_ Ah, yes, Oliver’s latest ex-girlfriend. _

 

_ Prior to Oliver jumping headfirst into that situation, she had tried to warn him. Really, truly. _

 

_ Carrie had been in her third period gym class and was incredibly vocal about her intentions for him. _

 

_ Oliver, the intelligent and careful boy that he was, had been smug and flattered. And of course, he ran into it blindly. Within three days, Felicity was pretty sure Carrie had picked out the floral arrangement for their wedding and china patterns for their first house. _

 

_ Rolling her eyes at him, she sighed. “What did she do this time? I told you not to get involved with her but as usual, Oliver Queen continues to think with his… genitals.” _

 

_ Oliver rolled his eyes back at her in response. “C’mon Smoak. You still can’t just say dick? Whatever. She’s been stalking me around school all day asking me when I am going to pick her up for junior prom. I didn’t even ask her! I thought the whole, breaking up thing would make that kind of a no brainer?” _

 

_ Her resulting giggle did not please him, if his resulting glare was any indication. “She decorated my locker, Felicity! With balloons!” _

 

_ Now, she was full on, bent at the waist, laughing at him.  _

 

_ Standing with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face, he asked, “Are you finished laughing at my despair?” _

 

_ Wiping at her eyes, Felicity let out one last giggle. “Stop being so dramatic, Oliver. Just go tell her it’s not going to happen and then, I don’t know, ask some other hopeless girl to the prom. Maybe then she’ll get the hint.” _

 

_ The bell ringing and signaling the beginning of next period had Felicity popping off the desk she had been sitting on and turning towards the door. _

 

_ “That’s brilliant, Felicity. What time should I pick you up?” _

 

_ Whipping around, she gaped at him. “What? I didn’t mean me!”  _

 

_ “Why not? Do you have a date?” _

 

_ Her answering blank stare as all the answer he needed.  _

 

_ “It will be perfect, Felicity. It will put the word out for Carrie and anyone else who might be harboring some crazy ass thoughts and I won’t have to deal with any ex-girlfriends at the dance itself. You, me and Tommy can go and just have fun together.” _

 

_ Visibly excited now, he walked over, placing a kiss against her cheek. _

 

_ “It’s gonna be great!” _

 

_ And that was the first time in a long string of coerced dates that Oliver would trick her into. _

 

* * *

 

 

_ After the success of junior prom, Oliver hadn’t stopped talking about it for days. _

 

_ “Felicity, Carrie didn’t even look at me the entire dance!” _

 

_ “No one even came up to me when you were standing next to me as my date, Felicity!” _

 

_ “I got to spend the entire time with you and Tommy, it’s been so long since that has happened!” _

 

_ She couldn’t get him to shut up about it. Apparently, it was the first time that Oliver realized he didn’t have to be dating a girl every single week of his life. Shocking, really.  _

 

_ Felicity became Oliver’s go-to for any public event or rally that he did not want to be bothered at. _

 

_ Great in theory, but it had its setbacks. _

 

_ Pretending to be Oliver Queen’s date to things was tough work. It meant being the center of gossip and ridiculous rumors like her being seen with him behind the football bleachers – really? Was she that much of a cliché?  _

 

_ It also meant that she and Oliver became a lot more… physically acquainted with each other. Now, they had always been close and comfortable with each other. But any time they were out it meant handholding and Oliver’s hands resting on places for much longer than was appropriate. _

 

_ She was pretty positive he took a lot of joy out of that one, going out of his way to find reasons to touch her more than was necessary.  _

 

_ She only went along with it for one reason. _

 

_ Come senior year, Oliver had stopped running through female population of Starling.  _

 

_ Sure, he flirted his ass off – he wouldn’t be Oliver Queen if he didn’t – but she hadn’t actually seen him take a girl on a date in months. Which meant that Oliver was spending all of his time with her (and Tommy, but Tommy had most certainly not stopped his playboy ways). _

 

_ So, Felicity allowed herself to go through with Oliver’s ridiculous schemes. They were fun, and typically harmless.  _

 

_ Until senior prom. _

* * *

 

 

**_8 years prior - Age 18_ **

 

_ It wasn’t how Felicity had imagined her senior prom would happen. _

 

_ Once she had gotten past her awkward stage and had found some social popularity – all due to Oliver and Tommy – she had thought about how her typical teenage experiences would go, like prom. _

 

_ She had imagined going with a boyfriend, or a cute guy that she had a long-time crush on asking her to be his date. Maybe a limo or an awkward meeting of the parents for photos. You know, the stuff teenage romantic comedies were made of. _

 

_ She hadn’t imagined Oliver Queen begging her once again to be his date to the dance. Begging was a strong word, really. They were past that point. And although Felicity had entertained the idea of finding herself a real date for her senior prom, Oliver had made the assumption they would go together, and had made all of the arrangements before she could even really consider it.  _

 

_ So, here she was, putting the finishing touches on her make-up and waiting for Oliver, Tommy and Laurel – Tommy’s new girlfriend – to arrive in the limo. At least that was one component her imagination had managed to get right. _

 

_ She had taken some extra steps for the occasion, wanting to make this night memorable, even though she didn’t have a real date.  _

 

_ Which is why she had splurged and spent a little more than she would have usually on a dress. But god, it was gorgeous. The dress was black silk, and fit her like a dream. The front neckline covered her chest, but left, well, pretty much all of her back bare. _

 

_ If she was being honest, it was her attempt at torturing Oliver throughout the entirety of the dance. _

 

_ Oliver, playboy extraordinaire, was a neck and shoulders man. _

 

_ Grinning to herself, she finished applying her lipstick just as her phone beeped with Oliver’s text of arrival. _

 

* * *

 

 

_ Her dress garnered just the reaction she had hoped for, even though she still couldn't quite figure out why she was hoping any of this would happen. _

 

_ Oliver had taken one look at her, eyes dark, before finishing his glass of champagne and re-filling a new one, an unfamiliar tenseness to him that she had never seen before. _

 

_ It was refreshing, she thought, to have Oliver’s attention on her in a way that wasn’t purely platonic.  _

 

_ Shaking her head, she took the glass of champagne he was offering. Taking a healthy sip of it herself, she wondered what had gotten into her this week. The planning, the dress… it was really unlike her. _

 

_ She thinks maybe she’s getting pre-nostalgia for the end of high school. That’s a thing, right? _

 

_ She knows it will be all over soon and their small group will be separating. Her and Oliver will be off to Boston and Tommy, well, she wasn’t even sure he knew what his plans were yet. Regardless, everything was about to change and that scared her. _

 

_ They all still managed to have a pretty great time at prom together. Tommy, who she could tell was seriously taken with Laurel, had stayed by the girl’s side the entire night. She wasn’t sure he had even taken his eyes off of her once. It was weird, for Tommy. But it was cute.  _

 

_ She and Oliver were well practiced at the art of attending dances together and with the alcohol they had consumed beforehand, this one had turned out to be the most fun of them all. They had danced silly, slow, a little too close, and everything in between. Oliver had accepted his award for Prom King with his typical, smug arrogance, which had Felicity smiling in glee when it resulted in him having to share a dance with one of his ex-girlfriends. _

 

_ He had looked positively miserable. It was great. _

 

_ Yeah, everything had been pretty perfect. Even though she hadn’t had the prom of her dreams, necessarily, she had everything she really needed.  _

 

_ It wasn’t until later, at Tommy’s after party, when things decided to take an… interesting turn. _

 

* * *

 

 

_ Felicity was drunk. Not kind of drunk, not slightly tipsy, but straight-out drunk. _

 

_ Considering the private school she attended was filled of rich, entitled degenerates that really liked to party, you would think she would have had her full share of experiences being this drunk.  _

 

_ But she had always taken it easy in the party scene, too focused on her studies and getting into MIT to really fall allow herself to partake in the all-night ragers that Oliver and Tommy typically attended. _

 

_ Tonight, it seemed she had decided that all bets were off.  _

 

_ She lost her wits in between the copious amounts of beer, champagne and oh yeah, the Jell-O shots. _

 

_ “They get you every time!” she proclaimed, giggling to herself. It was Oliver’s amused and slightly confused look that made her realize she had said it out loud for everyone to hear. That was apparently hilarious to her, and sent her off into another bout of giggles, her face hiding in Oliver’s neck. _

 

_ Did she mention that she was currently sitting on Oliver’s lap? _

 

_ Because it seemed as though she herself had just realized it. _

 

_ Before she could think her way through why, or talk herself out of it, she found herself placing a soft kiss against his neck. She smiled against his neck as she felt him release a breath, body tightening as his conversation with some kid - Bobby, maybe? Didn't matter - came to a pause. _

 

_ Wow, his skin is so soft. Has it always been this soft? She needed to do more research, for science, obviously. She had just placed another kiss further along his neck when she felt herself being pulled up straight, bringing her face to face with Oliver. _

 

_ She grinned dopily at him, taking in his blown out pupils and cute, confused look. _

 

_ “Felicity,” he breathed out, “What are you doing?” _

 

_ She grinned cheekily, stealing the ball cap resting on his head. “Just having fun, Oliver. Geez, lighten up!” _

 

_ Putting her stolen ball cap backwards on her head, she stood up and set off for the kitchen, feeling the need for a new drink. When had she finished her last one?  _

 

_ That should have been an indication for her to slow down, but she was way past that level of awareness and ability to make smart choices here. _

 

_ She had just finished pouring herself a new drink when she felt the cup being lifted out of her hand and set down on the counter in front of her. Opening her mouth, she turned around to give whoever was behind her a piece of her mind.  _

 

_ She had seconds to see Oliver’s face before his mouth covered her own. _

 

_ She gasped, stilling momentarily, and allowing his tongue to enter her mouth. It was only seconds before she began returning his kiss with vigor. Her hands moved up almost immediately to run through his hair as Oliver’s circled around her waist, bringing her in closer to him. _

 

_ The feel of Oliver's silky tongue upon her own has her blood throttling and she is lost in a sea of touch. Oliver's hands moved constantly across her, discovering her, before they finally found purchase on her ass. She moaned into his mouth as his hands slid around, cupping and kneading and grasping until she is positive that she is actually a puddle on the kitchen floor.  _

 

_ She can't deny that Oliver's aggressiveness is turning her on in a way she never would have imagined, and she finds her own hands are becoming adventurous, dipping underneath his shirt and exploring the wide expanse of his chest. _

 

_ Eventually, Oliver seemed to come to his senses long enough to maneuver them backwards into the hall, beyond the kitchen, and away from prying eyes. _

 

_ In the dark hallway, Oliver has her quickly pressed up against the wall, his hips pushed closely to her own as her breathless moans echo in the space around them. Her right leg eventually finding its way wrapped upon his waist as they stand, devouring each other for what seems like hours, the party continuing on around them. They're oblivious to it. _

 

_ It's not until the distinct sound of a throat clearing and muttered ‘Holy shit!’, do they break apart.  _

 

_ Tommy Merlyn stands down the hall gaping at them, eyes wide, a beer hanging loosely next to his lips. _

 

_ Taking one look at them, he knows they're useless. He knows it might be a bad idea, but honestly he's too drunk to care, and he shrugs. “Might want to move this private party elsewhere. Take my dad’s room.” He looks at them for a second longer before shaking his head and disappearing back into the party. _

 

_ They didn’t waste any time. _

 

_ Turning back to each other, their lips found each other once again as they began making their way to the staircase around the corner. They struggle with the first few steps, drunk and refusing to separate long enough to get up them. Finally, after a stumble from Felicity which almost resulted in both of them on their asses, Oliver pulled away long enough to grab her hand and haul her the rest of the way up the stairs. _

 

_ Making it to the bedroom, Felicity has only one second to think that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this, especially in Tommy’s dad’s room, before Oliver has pushed her onto the bed, body enclosing hers completely. _

 

_ After that, she can't think at all. _

 

_ Their movements are sloppy and frantic, the tell tale sign of the alcohol guiding every action. Oliver’s lips make their way across the expanse of Felicity’s neck, softly biting and sucking up to her jawline.  _

 

_ The desperate sounds coming from her would’ve embarrassed her if she had been sober, but she wasn’t, and dammit it felt too good for her to care.  _

 

_ Oliver wasn’t faring much better; she can feel him straining against his jeans as his hips hover over her own. His lips leave her neck as he balances above her, hands moving down to lift her shirt up her arms and off her body. _

 

_ In the morning, she only hopes she remembers the soft warmth that spread throughout her as Oliver wavers above her, eyes drinking her body in for the first time.  _

 

_ Above her, she zeroes in on Oliver’s tongue, sweeping over his lip as if wondering where he would start feasting on her first. _

 

_ Unable to stand it, Felicity pulls him back down by the neck, her mouth finding his once more as she begins her own explorations within his mouth. She bites down on his lip and his hips jerk, pushing his erection into her and setting off a frenzy between them.  _

 

_ From then, they’re a blur of hands and lips. At some point, Oliver’s leg finds it’s way between hers and the relief from feeling something strong and hard between her legs feels so fucking good. The material of her jeans and his movements above her, get her in just the right spot. She loses it completely, rubbing herself into him as Oliver moves above her, his hips moving into her desperately, his own moans heavy and hot in her ear. _

 

_ She can feel it building within her as her hands scramble to find purchase on his back, knowing she’s about to tip over the edge. _

 

_ “Oliver, I’m-,“ but he cuts her off, mouth slanting down against hers hard before pulling back and saying, “Fuck, I know, Felicity. Me too, baby.”  _

 

_ In the morning she’ll wonder why, but it’s Oliver’s “baby” that finally sends her tumbling over the edge, her hands gripping his shoulders so tight that Oliver will find little, crescent shaped marks on his back in the morning. _

 

_ For Oliver, it’s the sight of her, coming undone underneath him that pushes him to the edge. But what tips him past it, is that he can feel her pussy contracting through their layers of clothing – and never taking his eyes off of her, he’s gone - pulsing into his pants. Wow. _

 

_ They kiss as they both come down, their heaving sighs still coating the room. But the air seems heavier; the physical activity bringing some clarity back into the situation. _

 

_ Perhaps by unspoken agreement, they silently take turns in the master suite, cleaning up and preparing to sleep – neither of them particularly in the mood to re-join the party. _

 

_ Finding themselves back in bed, Oliver gathers her into his chest, and they both allow themselves to drift off, knowing tomorrow will bring sobriety and a lot of questions. _

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe (okay, I can) that it has been 2 months since the previous update of this story. As much as I wish I could be an author that has constant inspiration and few blocks... I am not. It comes and goes for me and 500 other story ideas that I have to talk myself out of, pop up in the middle of writing. 
> 
> Anywho... as I said when I started home, I have not abandoned this story - it holds a piece of me. So, if you're still here with me - still willing to stay on this ride - THANK YOU and I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> This chapter picks up with Oliver's POV and will have a bit of a faster flow as we reach the end of the flashbacks. It's short, but the length felt right. The next chapter will be the last before we catch up with the present time (I think). Let me know what you think, as always. XO

**_8 years prior - Age 18_ **

 

The buzzing of a phone wakes Oliver from his restless sleep.

 

Slapping his arm out, seeking to silence his phone - he realizes immediately he is not in his own bed, where his phone typically sits perched upon his nightstand.

 

Because his arm hits a soft body, pulling a groan from its’ inhabitant and his eyes pop open before immediately closing again, unprepared for the harsh light of the day. His hand rests  against his temple, trying to remediate the throbbing in his head, Tequila - he assumes, and he struggles to remember where he is.

 

It comes to him in flashes.

 

Felicity on his lap. Felicity pressing hot, wet kisses up and down his neck as he struggled to maintain his threadbare control. Finally giving into her. Pressing her warm body against the wall as he finally allowed himself to feel worthy of her for once in his life. Tommy allowing them to use his father’s room - ugh what the fuck - and pressing against her tight body before they found their mutual release.

 

His entire body warms at the last thought, as the memory of sinking into her washes over him.

 

“Oliver.” 

 

The small whine from beside him pulls him out of his thoughts and he allows one eye to open, squinting as it finds purchase on his best friend and love of - no. Stop right there. She’s not yours. She can’t be.

 

“Hey. How are you feeling?” His voice is hesitant, testing the situation he’s found himself in, unsure of how she is going to react to their colossal fuck-up. Again.

 

Oliver is bordering on blind panic himself.

 

“Like a bus hit me and then decided it wasn’t through with me, so it circled back and hit me again.” Her whine is bordering adorable and he can’t help the small smile that stretches his lips at her petulant moan, her face burrowing into the pillow next to him, unaffected by the reality of the situation.

 

The last thought jolts him, the truth of it ringing inside of him. Because she seems totally unaffected by where they are, what they’ve done. Has she just not realized yet that the night before they allowed themselves to take pleasure in each other? Press and pull each other until they didn’t know where one began and the other ended? Why is he so affected?

 

“Look, Felicity,” he starts, but Felicity turning to finally face him takes the words out of his mouth.

 

“Oliver, stop. I really don’t want to do this again. I don’t want to tiptoe around the whole awkward, we shouldn’t have done this again so Oliver is going to avoid me for a week because he is riding some sort of guilt trip thing. I’m hungover, my head feels like it is going to split into two pieces and I really just want to lie here for a while, maybe cuddle with my best friend, and then go back to sleep. Can we do that? Please?” her voice softens at the end and Oliver thinks, no - knows, this is only the most recent in the line of things he is unable to deny her.

 

Sighing softly, his arms open, making room for the perfect fit of her body against his own.

 

“Of course, Felicity. Come here.”

 

* * *

 

 

To Oliver’s surprise, they move on from their drunken mishap with no breaks in their friendship, no repercussions at all. It’s almost as if it never happened.

 

He hates that, a little bit.

 

No - he knows it’s for the best. He knows he’s lucky that their indiscretion didn’t cause stress on their friendship, he isn’t ready for more, afterall. But part of him wishes she would show him something, an inkling even, that what she felt for him stretched beyond friendship. That pretending that was all they felt for each other was killing her the way it was killing him.

 

In the end, though, he’s grateful that she doesn’t. Because he doesn’t deserve her, and he probably never will.

 

He hates that too.

 

* * *

 

The rest of their senior year passes by in the blink of an eye. Finals he barely studies for, parties he barely remembers, and packing that he hires others to do for him. Things that take days, months, but feel like seconds.

 

College approaches and the first real hardship is leaving Tommy. _Tommy_.

 

He can barely stand it. For months, they both pushed it to the side, an inconsequential thought in the scheme of their plans. Both avoiding how entirely important it truly was. His best friend in life and he had to say goodbye.

 

The reassurances of holidays, phone calls, emails, they’re there, of course. Still, he knows nothing will replace the steady presence of his best friend. His brother.

 

Oliver struggles with his absence more than he cares to admit.

 

* * *

 

Arriving in Massachusetts, it’s having Felicity by his side that gives Oliver the confidence to begin college. To start over in a place that isn’t home.

 

It doesn’t last long.

 

Harvard isn’t like Starling. People don’t know him and they don’t care to. His name doesn’t earn him grades and it definitely doesn’t earn him escape from the humiliation of being called on in class to answer questions he has no business being a part of. Y’know, when he actually makes it to class.

 

Their first semester passes by in a blink of an eye. He somehow manages to earn C’s in two of the four classes he takes that year. He celebrates for a week. It’s longer than he remembers ever attending class.

 

She’s proud of him, though.

 

That’s all that matters.

 

* * *

 

Felicity gets a boyfriend their second semester.

 

Cooper.

 

Just the sound of his name brings a distaste that Oliver’s never felt before. He fucking hates Cooper.

 

Maybe it’s the emotional attachment and excitement of a new relationship that blinds Felicity to the faults that Oliver sees so plainly.

 

Maybe it’s just that Oliver began looking for his shortcomings the moment he was introduced to him.

 

Either way, he cannot stand the kid.

 

He’s arrogant and self-centered. Oliver knows these qualities may not seem unfamiliar to himself, but he can’t explain it. There’s an air of self-importance that is suffocating in his presence, and there’s no charm to offset it. He chokes on it every time he is near.

 

He tells himself it has nothing to do with the searing pain in his chest every time his hand lands on Felicity’s waist. Her shoulder. Her cheek. All body parts feel of equal importance when the hand is not his own.

 

He drowns in his self-hate.

 

* * *

 

Felicity stays with Cooper for four months, up until their Summer vacation looms near.

 

He’s not surprised when Cooper breaks it off with her for his vacation in Italy, but he wishes he was. Wishes he could provide her with comforting reassurances that he doesn’t mean it, that he’s not thinking ahead - only focusing on the near future. That he’s blinded by the idea of nude,  white-sand beaches.

 

But Oliver knows better. Knows the type of man that Cooper is.

 

He would be the same man if it came to anyone other than Felicity.

 

That’s one thing about Cooper he doesn’t understand.

 

Because the thought of Felicity, tanned and happy - sunkissed and his?

 

What could be better than that?

 

He hopes he gets his own head out of his ass soon so he can figure it out.

 

* * *

Oliver wishes he could say he had accomplished his goal quicker.

 

The month after Felicity’s break up was rough. As someone that had blocked herself off from long relationships, she was unused to the end - wasn’t ready to handle it. She had fallen deeper into her relationship with Cooper than Oliver cared to think about.

 

He hopes it has more to do with the fact that it was her first long relationship rather than the man who had been part of it.

 

He spends as much time with her as he can that month. Oliver Queen, playboy billionaire, spends more time in the library that month of finals than he can ever remember spending his entire life.

 

To be fair, he doesn’t study.

 

He provides … moral support. He brings her coffee and snacks, provides comic relief. Tries to keep her head focused and in her studies, rather than on the jackass who broke up with her. He knows how important her grades are to her and he won’t let them slip. His grades are unimportant. She matters. 

 

Her future matters.

 

She shines so bright.

 

* * *

 

Felicity passes her finals with straight A’s.

 

She cries on the last day. Heavy, emotional relief that seeps into his shirt, staining it and his heart at the same time.

 

He remembers smiling in the midst of it, knowing she was finally letting it go. Letting that asshole go.

 

It was in those moments, her fingers gripping his shirt, his hands curled around the soft slope of her waist, that he finally accepted the inevitable. Their inevitability.

 

And his need.

 

* * *

 

 

It happens the October of their Sophomore year.

 

Like most of the important moments of their friendship, life-long relationship, whatever you wanted to call it - it’s a casual affair.

 

There’s nothing especially momentous about it, except for the life altering effects it has on them.

 

It’s a Tuesday when Oliver walks down a side street in Cambridge. The chill of Fall has begun settling into the air and his bones, and he tightens his hoodie around him as he longs for the warm California sun he left behind.

 

Ducking into a Dunkin on the street corner, the Pumpkin Spice signs catch his eye and immediately bring her to mind. Knowing where he’ll find her this time of day, he quickly purchases an extra latte and makes his way to the MIT quad.  

 

Approaching her, his breath leaves him at the easy sight of her. It’s been years of knowing her, but will it ever be enough? She’s bundled in a soft sweater and scarf, her blonde hair curtained around her like some sort of fucking angel and he’s lost, not for the first time.

 

Her answering smile at his coffee offer is ultimately the dagger in his resilience.

 

The words pour out before he has a chance to second guess himself.

 

“Felicity, would you like to go to dinner with me?”

 

If the look on her face is any indication, her words tumbled out just as quickly, and with no regard for her thoughts either.

 

“Yes.”

 

Inevitable, he remembers thinking.

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU - It’s been 6 years since Felicity last saw Oliver Queen, her former best friend and boyfriend. She had once thought they would spend their lives together. He made other plans. Now that he’s back, will she ever find out what drove him to leave her and the life they had planned behind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! A new chapter that didn't take me forever to post - whew! It's an October miracle. Anyways, here we are, the last chapter of the flashbacks. This chapter continues in Oliver's POV from the previous one. The next chapter afterwards will pick back up in Felicity's POV and will take place immediately after the prologue. We're making progress folks - thank you so so much for the continued amazing response to this story and for sticking with me and my terrible updating schedule. Hopefully we're getting some rhythm going now ;) 
> 
> Please let me know what you think as always and enjoy! xo

Oliver realizes he’s gone all out - maybe done a little too much, approximately twenty minutes before their date is scheduled to begin. 

After she had agreed to dinner the other day, they had gone on without much fanfare. They spent a little time together in the quad as though nothing tremendous had just occurred between them before going their separate ways for the rest of their day.  

It had hit him that night that he had absolutely no idea where he was going to take her. Did they go casual or fancy? Something they both knew well or did they try something new? He knew he was overthinking it, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted everything to be perfect. It had to be. 

His panic had resulted in him making reservations at 51 W, a new and expensive restaurant that had just opened downtown. He orders a bouquet of flowers and hopes that Felicity will like them. God knows Oliver Queen knows absolutely nothing about flowers.

Now he stands before her door, twenty minutes early - a result of his anxiety, which is only mounting higher and higher the longer he stands there. 

Was this too much? This was probably too much. They had never done anything like this. What if she hated it? She was probably going to hate it. The flower bouquet in his hand feels like lead and his stomach churns uncomfortably as he frowns, second guessing himself. 

The door opens then, and his eyes widen as he takes in the sight in front of him.  _ Wow. _

She stands before him, a vision of red. His throat tightens as his eyes take her in, starting at the top of her dress, curved around her neck and highlighting her shoulders. It clings tightly to her, and stops just below mid thigh. Her hair is up in a twist, a few tendrils escaping around her face and he swears he feels his brain short circuit.  _ She’s perfect. _

He realizes then she’s speaking, staring at him and waiting for an answer.

“Uhh, what?” He finally stammers. 

An eyebrow cocks and she smiles. “I said, how long are you going to stand out here? Come on in, Oliver. I’m almost ready.”

Right. He nods, following her inside as she shuts the door behind him. “Oh, these are for you.” He remembers the flowers in his hand and he wants to smack himself. Is he going to talk in short clips and phrases all night? This wasn’t off to a great start. 

She turns, blushing. “Oh,” her voice is soft, “Thank you. Let me just grab a vase and put these in water.” 

He nods, handing them over to her, his hands falling into his pockets. Was he crazy? What was there to be nervous about? It’s Felicity. 

But that’s the thing. It’s Felicity. And suddenly, everything matters so much more. The stakes are so much higher than they had been with one of the many random girls he had taken out in his life so far.

“Just uh, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right out.” 

He nods, going immediately to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

Twenty minutes later they’re in a cab headed towards the restaurant, Oliver insisting that taking the train was out of the question for their date. The conversation is still stilted, but it’s getting better. It’s his fault, he can’t get out of his own head. 

He’s trying valiantly to ignore the side looks Felicity is shooting him out of the corner of her eye, but he knows she can tell something is wrong. She always knows. 

It’s another twenty minutes later, when they’re sitting in the white tablecloth restaurant, that he finally breaks. 

“This is silly, right?” 

She nods. “Are you okay?”

A laugh. “Of course I’m okay, I’m out with you and you look beautiful and I’m just terrified of screwing all of this up.” He sighs. “And in the midst of trying not to do that… I’m doing exactly that.”

“Oliver, no. You’re not screwing anything up, you just need to relax. It’s just you and me here. Oliver and Felicity.” She’s silent for a beat, thinking. “Why don’t we get out of here?”

His stomach drops. “Shit, Felicity. I’m sorry, I knew I screwed up, just -”

“No, no. You’re misunderstanding. I just mean, this restaurant, it’s beautiful and I really appreciate the sentiment but…,” she waves her hand around, “This isn’t us, y’know? I don’t need all of this. I just need you.” 

Her voice is small but the smile shining back at him makes him feel about ten feet tall. He releases a long breath and finally feels the tension seeping out of him. 

“You’re right, as always.” Then the idea hits him, and the excitement that should have been present all along finally finds him. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

An hour later, they’re clutching peppermint hot chocolates in a park nearby, swinging softly back and forth next to each other. 

Felicity had laughed, but her eyes had lit up at his easy suggestion. It was reminiscent of their childhood. It had been one of their favorite Fall drinks growing up and time hadn’t changed that. This? This is their type of night. He has no idea what had come over him. Why he had thought they needed anything else, any fanfare, to enjoy themselves.

“I’m sorry about tonight. I just really wanted everything to be perfect.” 

She reaches over then, clasping her hand within his. His own tightens reflexively. 

“Hey, enough of that. The night is just beginning. You didn’t have to go to so much trouble, it’s just me.”

He stops their swings, twisting the chains so he can face her. “That’s just it. It’s you. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for so long, I just wanted it to be special.”

She smiles, but it’s nervous. Like she can’t wrap her head it. “Really? I always thought… Well, I never really thought you felt that way about me.”

He laughs. The idea is ludicrous. There’s no way she possibly couldn’t have seen what was so obvious to himself, to everyone. “Felicity, I have wanted this with you for years.”

“What?” her eyes widen, mouth opened slightly, “I would’ve realized, Oliver, come on.”

“Frankly, I don’t see how you didn’t realize. I’ve been hung up on you forever.” 

After his inability to get more than three words out at a time earlier in the night, the words were surely pouring out of him now. He knows he’s throwing it all in, maybe should reign it back, but he finds himself unable to be anything other than honest with her tonight, under the stars - her eyes shining so brightly back at him. 

“Then why…,” her voice trails off and he can see she still doesn’t believe him. 

“I guess at first, I didn’t think it was right. I didn’t think you’d ever see me in that way. We had been best friends for so long…,” he shrugs, “And then I didn’t think I was worthy of you.” She frowns at that, and he holds his hand up, stopping the reply he could see on her lips. “After I realized how I felt and decided it shouldn’t happen… I started working my way through the female population of our school, trying to show myself that I could move past it. Feel that way about someone else. I learned after a while that it was pointless. And then we hooked up…”

“And you acted like it meant nothing.”

“No! No, Felicity. I never meant... I was just terrified of screwing up what we had. Being with you, it was everything. I just wasn’t ready for you.” His excuses sound ridiculous, now, in his head. But at the time, at sixteen? Well, if he was a fool now, he wasn’t sure what he could call himself back then. Nothing good.

She nods, but doesn’t say anything. She’s looking down at their entwined hands, confused, and her silence is eating him up inside. Why isn’t she saying anything?

“And now?” Finally, “You’re ready for... what exactly?”

He can’t help but smile. “Now I’m ready for the rest of my life to begin. With you.”

* * *

 

They fall into their relationship easily, as if there had ever been a doubt of anything else. They move slowly at first, navigating the new boundaries. Both of them finding quickly that there really aren’t any between the two of them. They know each other much too well for that.

Oliver had always been a staple of her apartment, but nights that were once spent “studying” and watching movies became nights of “studying” and well... fooling around. There was a lot of fooling around. 

How many nights did they spend making out on the couch like the teenagers they were? Countless. 

It takes them awhile to finally take the last step, into each other’s beds. Oliver had been so careless in the past when it came to that act, and he wanted it to be different with her. Needed to show her that with her, everything was always going to be different.

* * *

 

It’s midterms at both of their schools, and Oliver is hating school now more than ever. His grades are total shit and he knows it. Once again, there are maybe two classes that he has any hopes of passing and he knows his dad is going to kill him when he gets home for Christmas break.

It’s not that he didn’t want to try. He did, really. If not for himself, then for Felicity, who definitely deserved a boyfriend that was passing school. 

But anytime he stepped into class, his motivation was shot. The words floated in one ear and out the other. So, what was the point of even attending? It’s not like he was really learning anything, sitting there in the large halls of the school. 

He sighs, looking down at the open Calculus textbooks in front of him. It might as well be written in Greek.

Next to him, Felicity is typing madly away at her computer. Totally focused. He wonders not for the first time, just how she does it. 

His eyes zero in then on the red pen hanging from her mouth. Her bright red lips wrapped around it. He groans internally, shifting in the hard library seat underneath him as he pictures her lips wrapped around a particular part of him. 

He had made a promise to himself to take his time with her, to treat her right. That didn’t mean that it wasn’t killing him. They had done other things, almost everything else actually. But he wanted their first time to be really special. He plans for Christmas, maybe after they exchange gifts. He’s gotten her something special, it’s the first time he’s ever really gotten a gift for a girl. 

But that doesn’t mean they can’t take a study break now, right? 

His hand lands on her thigh, and he feels her shiver slightly. She stays focused on her task at hand though, and he realizes he’s going to have to pull out the big guns if he’s going to get her to take a break. 

He moves it up and down, slowly trailing his fingers up the inner crevice of her thigh. She’s wearing a pair of those skin-tight black leggings that he prays every day never go out of style. She looks over, shooting a wry smile at him before placing a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Behave.”

He pouts. He doesn’t think so. Not this time.

Leaning over, he places a kiss on the side of her jaw, his nose running up and down the length of her neck. “I’m bored, Felicity.”

She’s a little breathless, but exasperated. “Oliver, if anyone needs to be studying here, it’s you. I’d like to be able to see you at least some of Christmas break, which won’t happen if you’re grounded.”

He’s going to choose to ignore that. He runs his lips up her neck, placing soft kisses as his hand tightens on her thigh. She lets out a soft moan, barely audible. He smiles before moving his free hand up to turn her head to him, taking her mouth in his.

It’s soft at first, slow as their lips mold to one another. Then it speeds up, Felicity becoming a more active participant in their kiss. Her hand reaches up, tangling in his short hair and he groans as she runs her nails slightly down his scalp. She knows he loves that.

He pulls away, needing to breathe but returns right away to her neck, suckling on the spot below her ear. He spends a bit of time there - he really loves her neck. Her hand tightens in his hair and he returns to her lips, devouring her.

“Let’s get out of here, Oliver.”

* * *

 

They make it back to her apartment faster than he would’ve thought possible. He was lucky she lived so close to campus because he hadn’t known how he was going to hold off from a public show of indecency.

Somehow, they manage. She’s giggling into his kiss, the excitement of their spontaneous decision washing over them now that they’re back here. It feels good, though. Being able to do these things with her. 

They make it to her room, shutting the door solidly behind them as he spins her into it. 

“Someone’s eager.” She’s laughing, her lips are smudged from their kissing and he wonders at her beauty again. How did he get so lucky? How did she choose him?

“With you? Always.”

His lips seal back over hers eagerly, his hands wrapping around her tiny waist, lifting. Her legs wrap around him immediately and he groans as she comes into contact with him right where he needs her. She rocks into him experimentally and he stumbles back, surprised. 

“Fuck, Felicity.”

Her eyes are mischievous and she grins back at him again before reaching forward to kiss him, she’s the one in control this time. He doesn’t imagine he’ll ever get tired of this. 

Still unsteady, he turns them towards her bed, laying back slowly, taking her with him. Leaning over him, her hair falling in her face, he wants to memorize the sight of her, but she’s relentless, leaning back down to kiss him once again.

“Slow down. Hey, there’s no rush, baby.”

Her hips rock into him again in response and he moans, his eyes rolling back.

“Shut up and kiss me, Oliver.”

And that’s how, on an idle Wednesday afternoon, Oliver throws away all of his ideas of holiday plans. It’s perfect, the epitome of their relationship. Always falling into each other comfortably, unscheduled. 

He doesn’t regret a single second of it.

* * *

 

As much as he enjoyed Felicity’s body, and  _ hell  _ did he ever, there weren’t many things that Oliver could say he enjoyed more than waking up next to her in the morning. 

If she was adorable in everyday life, nothing compared to how adorable she was waking up. She always woke up slowly and always happy. He had never met anyone that was as much of a morning person as her. But after only a couple of weeks of waking up next to her, he was slowly becoming one as well. 

It’s hard to imagine that Oliver Queen becomes someone who enjoys being in bed for anything other than sleeping or hooking up, but it happens. The bedroom becomes something of a sanctuary. He wonders when he became such a fucking sap, but he really did enjoy lazing in bed with her, just talking about anything and everything. In fact, most of their most important, most emotional conversations tended to take place there.

* * *

“Do you want kids?”

The question comes out of nowhere and catches him by surprise. If he’s honest, he’s never even thought about it before. But almost immediately, he pictures it. Two kids, maybe. One with her blonde hair, a mini-Felicity running around. The smile on his face is instantaneous. 

“Yes.”

She turns, a little surprised. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” he’s almost offended, “Why is that so surprising?”

Her mouth opens and then closes. “I don’t know actually. I just, I guess I never thought that it was something that interested you.”

“If you had asked me a year ago, I might have given you a different answer.” It’s true. Without Felicity in the picture, he probably would have run screaming for the hills at just the thought of children. And no, he isn’t ready for them  _ any _ time soon. But with her? Yeah, he can picture that sometime down the road. 

She nods, settling back in against his chest. The feel of her long, smooth legs sliding against his own under the comforters momentarily distracts him, and he wraps his arm around her waist more tightly, bringing her in closer to him. His nose nuzzles the side of her neck, and they both sigh. He’s content. It’s a great feeling.

“Oliver?”

“Yeah?”

“I want kids with you too.”

He smiles but says nothing, just pulls her in closer and places a soft kiss on her shoulder.

* * *

Their relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s the closest thing to it that Oliver has ever come close to. 

He never makes plans, but he has a general idea of how their future will go. Felicity will graduate from MIT, probably sooner rather than later. She’s excelling at an even faster pace than expected. He isn’t sure what is in the cards for him career wise, but he’ll follow her wherever she wants to go. He knows it’s Starling. He’ll probably end up in the family business right there along with her. 

After a couple of years, he’ll pop the question and they’ll honeymoon somewhere exotic. A kid will come down the road a few years later. They’ll be happy. It’s awfully cliche and generic, but somehow it’s everything he wants.

So yeah, one could say he had plans. 

Which is why, when everything comes crashing down around him, he flounders. Lost. The simple, easy ideas he had about his future, falling like sand between his fingers. Unable to grasp them, to hold on to their happiness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading - please let me know what you think! I always enjoy constructive criticism and seeing reader response. You can also find me on tumblr at /olicitee.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my re-boot of this story. If you're a first time reader - you can probably disregard the rest of these notes because they won't mean a thing to you. If you've been around since I first started posting -- 1) I'm so sorry and 2) If you're willing to jump back in and continue, then keep reading. 
> 
> I had a lot of motivation for this story last year and then in the midst of writing it, got relocated, yada yada, as I've said. I kept finding motivation for it again and then losing it all over. With the turn of where Arrow and Olicity are, I've re-found the inspiration tenfold. I'm ready to re-charge into this story. 
> 
> ** A COUPLE OF IMPORTANT NOTES **
> 
> 1) I went back through the first 5 chapters and reformatted them, as well as added some little bits and pieces here and there. There's nothing that would really change the story fundamentally, but let's be real anyways - it's been a long time, re-reading would probably be a good idea to get back into this anyways ;)
> 
> 2) An updating schedule! Yes. I am going to try my absolute, absolute, hardest to stick to FRIDAY updates. There's always room for an early update or an update that could come late but this is my new goal and hiatus is going to help me with this. The next chapter is already almost finished.
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than the rest will be moving forward but important stuff happens and it's a good bridge, so I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> To everyone who has left kudos on this fic, commented (I read every one of them - even if I hadn't been able to reply on the previous chapters, that's going to change), bookmarked, or just sent me awesome notes in general, thank you. We finally pick up here where the prologue left off --

_**Present Day** _

 

It’s been four days since the funeral and Felicity hasn’t been coping very well. At all, really.

 

She had spent the weekend alternating between the gym and her couch. She lifts weights and fills in crosswords; anything to keep her from looking at the box of college mementos that she promised herself she would throw out three years ago.

 

Felicity isn’t one for drowning in the past.

 

She does everything convention tells her she is supposed to do after one runs into an ex and pretends it doesn’t affect them. She wakes up and brews her speciality coffee from the cafe down the street. Vanilla cream and two sugars. She knows the routine by heart. She has a bowl of yogurt with granola and fruit. These things used to be comforting to her. Felicity avoids how it feels stale now.

 

She goes to work and performs her duties at Merlyn Global. Work is busy per usual and she’s taken on more work in the past two months than she had been prepared for. But she’s grateful, grateful for the responsibility and the distraction it provides to the other areas in her life.

 

As the days go on, she begins to regain her balance and the cracks in her heart begin to shift and solidify.

 

They don’t heal straight, but it’s a start.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days later, Thea invites her over for dinner at the house. She accepts because as much as she doesn’t want to be rude, she also really misses the younger girl. Misses the familiarity of the Queen household.

 

It doesn’t occur to her until she enters the mansion that Oliver may still be there. It’s been six days since they had buried his father. A day for every year that Oliver had been missing from his place with his family. _Their_ family. She had thought surely… but no.

 

Tommy greets her at the door to warn her.

 

_It’s funny, right?,_ she thinks to herself. That _she_ of all people would have to be warned of Oliver’s presence. The boy who had _protected_ her as a child and then protected her heart as a young woman, if only for a little while.

 

It’s funny all right. Just in a way that’s a little less comedic and a lot more sad.

 

Tommy’s eyes are filled with pity and she hates that it’s come to this. She wants to fill him with assurances and denials about the effect of Oliver’s presence. She’s had six years to come to grips, but it’s only been six days since he’s been back. She thinks she deserves a little more time.

 

“I’m sorry, Felicity,” he breathes, “I should’ve called you, but…”

 

She stops him. “But what?”

 

He shrugs, a helpless look on his face. The boy torn between his two lifelong best friends. She feels an ounce of her own pity. But not enough to absolve him of his next words.

 

“He’s back, Felicity. For good.”

 

* * *

 

Dinner is awkward. Thea and Tommy play the graceful hosts, attempting to fill the air with continuous conversation and assurances. Not just for her, but for Moira, who Felicity remembers with a pang, is dealing with the loss of her husband.

 

She’s overwhelmed with a bout of shame when she realizes. She’d been so swept away in her own pain and regret, she’d failed to remember a member of her family was suffering even worse. On top of it, the Queen family just got their son back. Permanently.

 

Felicity might be unhappy for the situation it throws her in, but she won’t allow herself to be bitter and ruin a happy time for a family that has had nothing but sadness recently.

 

She vows to break out of the spell she’s been under then.

 

Felicity looks at Oliver. He’s been inconspicuously staring at her all night. As if she wouldn’t notice the weight of his glance on her. She had over a decade to memorize his stare, she won’t be forgetting any time soon.

 

He’s been silent almost the entire dinner, only speaking to agree to the occasional question or to give his mother small assurances that she won’t be alone.

 

She desperately wants to ask _why? why now?_ but she remains silent. Those questions can’t come from her. Not yet.

 

Thankfully, Tommy steps up to the plate. She’s reminded of one of the many reasons she loves him in that moment. He carries with him a silent strength and has always been the backbone of the trio’s friendship, even when her and Oliver tried to run off in their own world. She isn’t sure where she would be right now if it wasn’t for him.

 

“So, Oliver. What are your plans for the foreseeable future?”

 

Oliver clears his throat, and Felicity’s attention flits over him before she can’t take it anymore and has to look away once again. She can’t escape the rough timbre of his voice, though.

 

“Well, I’m going to be shadowing Walter and my mother for a couple of weeks,” he says, shooting his mother a confident smile, adding, “and then I’ll be taking over as CEO.”

 

That brings Felicity’s attention back immediately, and before she knows it, she’s speaking directly to him for the first time since the funeral.

 

“What?”

 

Oliver’s eyes flit to her, surprise evident. “Uh, yeah… that was always the plan, all along. But with my father… well, the time has just come a little sooner than anyone had planned for.”

 

She nods thoughtfully, but her insides scream in protest.

 

He can’t come back here now. What right does he have to return now? When she’s just finished building the house of cards that had taken six years for her to finish.

 

It’s blown over in a single sentence.

 

She wonders if Oliver realizes what his newfound position really means for them. Queen Consolidated and Merlyn Global work closely together on a variety of initiatives. They may not have to work together, but their paths will cross often. More often than Felicity is ready for.

 

But then, that’s life, right?

 

A series of events that no one is ever prepared for.

 

* * *

 

The next day, she avoids Tommy’s phone calls. She knows why he’s calling and she isn’t ready to discuss what the long term ramifications of Oliver being back in town are. It’s beyond her own issues. It’s beyond their companies.

 

It’s happy hours and family dinners. It’s friendly outings and significant others.

 

As much as it pains Felicity to admit, their lives are intertwined in a way that cannot be undone. Tommy is his best friend, has stayed his best friend the entire time. Laurel, one of her best friends, is Tommy’s fiance. Thea? His sister. Even Moira… These are people that belonged to Oliver _first_ , but now they share custody of.

 

No, there will be no avoiding each other in this city.

 

Her theories are proven correct when she runs into him later that afternoon. The coffee shop is bustling, people consumed in their phones and lost to their own thoughts. Felicity is one of them until she feels his presence. Before looking up, she knows. Always has.

 

His eyes have already found her own, and they look back at her with a wistful stare, hesitating. Oliver’s body screams with the desire to come towards her, but Felicity’s stance is mightily defensive and he knows he cannot make the first move. Not again.

 

Felicity finds her own feet are moving before she knows what is happening. Before she knows it, she’s standing in front of them, her head screaming at herself in protest.

 

“Felicity,” he breathes, surprised.

 

She stares, kicking herself for the movements that brought her to him. What had she been thinking? She didn’t even have anything to say to him, but it was the pitiful look in his eye that had her body moving without her permission. She hates that she’s not immune after all this time.

 

Shaking herself, she nods to him. “Oliver.”

 

He looks unsure, and she’s gratified by it. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me.”

 

“I don’t.” Her reaction is quick and she’s momentarily unsettled by the wince on his face. “I mean… us talking, to each other, it’s… inevitable, Oliver. We can’t avoid each other in this city. But I’m not ready to, y’know… _talk_.”

 

He nods in agreement, the look on his face still wary and a little sad.  “I get that, Felicity. I do, but…” he trails off and just the sound of his rough timbre saying her name is enough to make her want to bolt from the cafe.

 

“But what?”

 

He fidgets. “I know I have no right,” she snorts, interrupting him, and he sends her a pleading look, before continuing, “I know that. I just, I want you to know how sorry I am, and just, _shit._ This isn’t coming out right.”

 

She stays silent, letting him get his bearings. She doesn’t know why she’s bothering really, if she had any sense of mind she would turn around and run far away from the conversation. But… she’s curious, so she hangs tight, and watches him squirm.

 

“I’m sorry, Felicity. I made a lot of mistakes and I know it could take a lifetime of trying to make those up to you and that’s ok. I just want you to know that I’m prepared to do that. I want to get to know you again. If you’ll give me the chance.”

 

He’s earnest, she’ll give him that. She always knew when he was lying. He was a terrible liar.

 

And he’s looking at her, hopeful and Felicity… she isn’t ready to give him that olive branch yet.

 

But it doesn’t mean never.

 

“I understand. I’m just not ready yet, Oliver,” she gives.

 

He nods. “So where do we go from here?” he asks.

 

Now that’s the multimillion dollar question isn’t it?

 

If you had asked Felicity two weeks ago, her answer would’ve been nowhere. They were going nowhere.

 

Now he’s back in her life and she isn’t really sure what that means yet. Not even sure if she’s ready to consider what that means yet.

 

“Honestly Oliver?” she starts, looking down at her coffee as if it had all the answers she sought. “I’m not really sure yet. I think we just need to call a truce and maybe try to not push one another.”

 

What she really means is _please don’t push me, I’m not ready yet._

 

Thankfully, he seems to get it. He gives her a half smile, so alike the ones she used to receive from him years ago when everything was unfractured and for the first time, she sees a little bit of his old self inside of him. The one she thought she had known before her world was turned over.

 

Unable to stop herself from returning the half smile, she throws him a “Take care, Oliver,” before turning around and leaving him in the cafe.


End file.
